but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
