and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
