guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
