hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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