She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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