guys are only as good as the porn they watch
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
