I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
