before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
