the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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