I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
