I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
