He asked to "fluff my boner.."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize