Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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