Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
