can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
