the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
