he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
