First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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