I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize