everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
