Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
