What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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