thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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