she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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