There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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