I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
