I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
