i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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