i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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