Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
