I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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