Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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