she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i out mim tonsoeep
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