Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
