too bad you live with your parents still
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize