i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
