yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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