Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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