i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
