A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
