So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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