Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
