He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
