we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
