Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have post one night stand depression
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
