Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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