I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
