pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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