just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
