i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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