You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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