So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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