I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
