I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize