you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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