Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
