i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
