I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
