She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I just put wine in my tea
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize