you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
